The First Tag

I should have done this tag long ago; preferably, right after the A-Levels drew to a close. But the past couple of weeks had been filled extremely inane activities, delaying my response. Now I’m back at home, KY is behind me and I’m struggling to move on. Prior to coming home, I was indulging in the thought to update my blog what with a more stable Internet connection and plenty of time at hand. Hell, I was wrong! The blazing fast connection was anything but. And now, I’m suffering from chronic Internet withdrawal. I’m destined not to be able to go online at least for a couple of months unless I manage to get hold of myself and brave the outside world by stepping into a crowded, slightly dinky CC to get my (new) blog updated. True to the T, my existence has never been so dreary…

Cutting to the chase, this game rule is as follows. Rule: Go to Google and search the phrase. Tag friends. Please use your REAL 1st name. Use the first thing that comes up that makes sense.

Q: Type in "[your name] needs" in the Google search
A: This one is a cute one. Well, in reality, I’m not a big fan of toddlers. Quoting the recently dismissed Cranny, babies are ugly. If I were one day become a doctor, pediatric department will definitely come last in the list of what-speciality-that-I-want-to-endavour… What Firdaus needs is… Since Firdaus needs a diaper change, we went to the park at Rue du Temple and take a break there while figuring out where we were. The family in question is a resident of Switzerland. A young couple from Malaysia with a bright future stretched ahead of them. I’ve never been to Paris but the Firdaus that required his soiled diaper changed had seen the Eiffel Tower in person. Oh, didn’t I mention that he’s kinda cute? Something that we have in common I guess… = P


Q: Type in "[your name] looks like" in Google search:
So Firdaus looks equally like both of my parents. Talk about a strong competition between the X and Y chromosomes…

Q: Type in "[your name] says" in Google search:
A: Firdaus says the new health workers have already made an impact in Chela Bandi. Firdaus, a student, stoops to enter the tented home of the Akhtar family –an igloo-shaped canvas and aluminium shelter in the ruins of Chela Bandi village in Pakistan-Administered Kashmir.
Now this is an insight into my future. Or what I hope I will end up being. Why, joining a volunteer body such as MERCY that is! And yeah, the family this Firdaus visited bore the same name as my future senior in Edinburgh (if everything goes well *prays hard*). I hope he left behind an everlasting impression on the family…

Q: Type in "[your name] wants" in Google search:
A: Firdaus wants to be comfortable, but she also wants power of her own.
Now now, it’s a well known fact that Firdaus is a pretty universal name. Or should I say a unisex one? Trust me, from this point, most of the search results show Firdaus as a female name. The only trace of truth in this sentence is that I enjoy power and most importantly, comfort…

Q: Type in "[your name] does" in Google search:
A: Firdaus does not only dream but is politically active as well: she participates in a. march against the government.I think my counterpart who is of the fairer sex is more ambitious and driven than I am. I bet this woman wholeheartedly believes in feminism, a stickler to gender equality, a staunch supporter of suffragist if she lived in the right era. And also a leftist. The last trait might resemble me in a more solid way…

Q: Type in "[your name] hates" in Google search:
A: Firdaus is “a famous prostitute” that hates men, kings, princes and rulers,. gender and class oppressors.
Hahahahahahahahaha. LMAO. This really did it! Me? A whore? Therefore, I decided to find a more sensible result. Firdaus hates remake. What sort of remake, I wonder… But given the first result that I got, and the fact that I’m reading Grotesque, a novel on prostitution, I believe that this slut is not too much into plastic surgery to wow the men…

Q: Type in "[your name] asks" in Google search:
A: Firdaus asks. "Bad?" Tawfiq says. "How could he be bad—how could any of us be?”
Well, I dunno who Tawfiq was referring to. But I certainly have an idea that we’re not THAT bad. Could it be the Cerek Guy? Well he’s forgiven…

Q: Type in "[your name] goes" in Google search:
A: Crushed, Firdaus goes back to prostitution, and is threatened by police action by a local pimp.
Seriously, my future does look that bleak! I know I screwed up my A-Levels but I don’t think I’ll stoop down so low that selling my body is my only salvation… Not liking it, I searched for another result. Not too good either. I’m a mad villager who commits an honour killing and hell-bent to get justice, although through an inappropriate channel…
Firdaus goes on a violent rampage to avenge his sister's rape

Q: Type in "[your name] likes " in Google search:
A: Besides writing, Firdaus also likes to surf the Internet, draw and edit videos
Finally, something that I can relate myself to. The only false statement here is I don’t edit videos. And I guess I’m still on sabbatical from drawing buildings…

Q: Type in "[your name] eats " in Google search:
A: 'Without eating chicken and eggs, I cannot see myself leading a normal life.' – Firdaus.
Firdaus likes his protein sources. This is particularly true about myself. I’d squander my cash to the café to get small dishes of chicken (or eggs) on fish and meat days back then… Pidah once said that I might go extinct if I continued to cling to my fussy dietary needs should one day all the chickens and eggs become harmful and inedible. Seriously, I don’t care.

Q: Type in "[your name] wears " in Google search:
A: Firdaus wears make-up like an upper class woman.
I can’t fancy seeing myself with thick make-up or appear like a career or an aristocrat woman. Because I’m never gonna use make-up (unless I decide to join a drama club later on) or become a drag imitating an upper class woman. The second result says Firdaus wears spectacles. This also doesn’t describe me. Eat your tomatoes boys and girls!

Q: Type in "[your name] was arrested for" in Google Search:
A: Firdaus, is arrested because she writes and the very act of writing
I have always loved writing. I look forward to being published. What I don’t intend is to be apprehended by the authority although I like to spice things up with a pinch of controversy. But whuttahell. If I get arrested for writing slanderous essays or I get to dig up some dirt on corrupted social members, I might make the 100 Time Most Influential Persons.

Seriously, that was fun even though most of the times, the hits missed the targets by a few thousand miles... But compiling it made me smile. And I need a sliver of hope and happiness to forge on. I shall stop dwelling in the past...

I tag Anwar, Tyra, OB, Jo Tan, Ateqs, Alia, Pidah (I know you have a blog), Meor, and everyone else who blogs nowadays (which makes it literally everyone!).